10 Tips for a Successful Life

3 Tips for Overcoming Obstacles

If you're anything like me, you've spent most of your life climbing uphill. There have been many major obstacles in my life - some that have been placed on my plate and some that I have dished out myself. Fighting depression since the age of eight has been one of the greatest obstacles to overcome because of the debilitating disease itself and all of the additional conditions and consequences that it causes. I have heard people say things like "just shake it off" (long before Taylor Swift) or "you'll get over it." Not only do platitudes fail to comfort they also fail to offer any real direction or help. Not being new to this game, I know for a fact that not everyone wants help. I have been in a position many times where it didn't matter what anyone said or did, I just wanted to wallow in my pit and enjoy the familiarity of loneliness and depression. Sometimes, I didn't know an escape from the pit existed. However, there are many, possibly you, that are tired of living in the pit and want to make changes. That's great! I can assure you that it is possible. God has taught me so much over the years about overcoming obstacles like depression. I can assure you that it's not easy. You don't just "get over it." It takes work, faith and perseverance. I don't know what your next goal is or what obstacle you need to overcome but I would like to share these tips to help you overcome.
This morning I decided to overcome an obstacle. Over the last two years I have become drastically out of shape. My job involves sitting at a desk all day, every day, eating donuts and drinking coffee and my efforts to exercise in the evenings and on weekends have been less than inspirational. So today I got up, got dressed and drove to a boxing fitness center. With Eye of the Tiger playing in my mind and jump rope in hand, I charged into the workout like a champ. Six minutes and three routines later I was sitting on a box gasping for breath trying not to throw up. My obstacle hit me like a brick wall. Will I give up or overcome? Well, having faced a lifetime of obstacles, I've learned a few lessons that apply to this situation. Really, my only two choices are to stay in the condition I am, which I'm not satisfied with, or keep moving forward. I'm going to press on. Let me encourage you to persevere in your trek to climb that mountain. You can, and will, make it. Hopefully, you can benefit from my experience and apply it to your situation. Here are some tips for overcoming obstacles:

1) Don't wait to get started
Procrastination kills motivation. If you have an obstacle before you, start moving now to conquer it. You may fear that you're not ready and you might make a mistake. Probably. Mistakes help us learn. I wasn't ready to jump in to a full workout when I went to the fitness center, but my experience gave me an honest evaluation of what I need to work on - cardio. Now I know which direction to go. My efforts to combat depression took years because I wanted to be stable or "feel better" before working on other issues. Now, I can look back and be thankful for how far I've come. What move are you going to make now to overcome that obstacle?

2) If you get knocked down, get up and try again
This is an old saying, but vital to your progress. Never, ever give up. One of my favorite bible verses says, "No weapon formed against me shall prosper." I find it inspirational for two reasons: what it says, and what it doesn't say. It says that no matter what attacks me, the end has already been determined and those weapons lose. What it doesn't say is just as important. It doesn't say that the weapons can't harm me or do any damage. They can and will. But they can't defeat me. Depression has certainly damaged me over the years, but I'm still alive and enjoying the blessings in my life. Do you have scars? Then you are a survivor. Keep going.

3) Acknowledge every forward step
You will be alive until you die, no? Sounds silly, but there is a great truth here. Are you going to live a life of death or a life of living? The journey of life is yours to take. So what if your goal was 100 steps and you only made 82? That's progress, that's accomplishment, that's perseverance. Remember, it's not over until it's over and every positive move you make is, in itself, overcoming the obstacle. What is the last success you can name, no matter how small? You can do this, one step at a time.

3 Tips for Diminishing Depression During Thanksgiving

The first of two big holidays is upon us. In a few weeks, we will be celebrating with our family and friends. Traditions throughout the United States, including some things integrated from other lands and cultures, can be special times. The two most common Thanksgiving traditions are getting together with family and FOOD! Lots of yummy food - turkey, ham, dressing, sweet potatoes, corn, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie... now I'm hungry!
Even with all the great food, the most meaningful part of Thanksgiving is the time spent with family. Perhaps that means a small group of immediate family members or a gathering that includes aunts & uncles, grandparents, cousins or in-laws that you don't get to see on a daily basis. No matter the size of your family, there is warmth, joy and love.
Or is there?
What if everyone else is happy but you feel hollow on the inside? For you this gathering doesn't bring back happy memories from childhood, it serves only as a reminder of pain and heartache. Or maybe you have no family at all with which to celebrate. There are many single people away from their home, widowers or people isolated for other reasons. This holiday may be a reminder of your loneliness rather than anything joyous in life. Many people share your struggle. I have felt that pain many, many times throughout my life. It is crushing, deflating, dehumanizing and can open up a well of sorrow within your heart. Here are a few tricks that have proved extremely effective in my life during holiday depressions.

1) Be Thankful: Imagine that, being thankful at Thanksgiving. Oh, the audacity! Seriously though, if your heart is heavy from the things you don't have, or don't feel you have, count your blessings. They may be few but focus on them. Every single one of them. Write them down. Find things to be thankful for - the last good book you read, chocolate ice cream, your dog, good memories of times spent with your best friend, your creative nature, rain that makes the flowers grow next spring, the color green; anything and everything.

2) Plan Ahead: If you know your Thanksgiving situation is going to be less than ideal, make survival plans now. Is going to your family get together a painful duty? Try something new this year. How about dropping in to say hello and I love you, then heading out to do your own thing. Make plans with friends or schedule activities for yourself such as renting funny movies or working on a hobby.

3) Serve Others: Did you know that there are numerous churches and charitable organizations that feed the poor and homeless people on Thanksgiving?  You can volunteer to cook, serve, clean up or even deliver meals. Plus, you can spend time talking to people, asking about how their life is going. It will be a joy for them just to be treated like a normal human being and you might make a new friend!

If you are feeling especially lonely or low this season, please reach out to someone. People care about you, even if it's not the ones that are supposed to. I care. I will be praying for you this Thanksgiving.
If you have any other suggestions for diminishing depression during the holidays, please share in the comments below.
God bless

Hurt People Hurt People. But Hurt People Also Heal People.

Hurt people hurt people. Yes, it's true that people in pain or people that have been hurt have a tendency to lash out at others and direct their pain toward others. Subconsciously a scarred heart treats others in a harsh manner in an attempt to self-heal. The hurt person may be sharing their burden with another with the expectation that the person will help them by carrying the burden with them. They may be lashing out in a knee-jerk reaction in order to hurt a person just like they have been. The hurt person may also attempt to bring others down so that they can save themselves (like someone drowning). I have many emotional scars from years of living with an unloving father, from the death of my mother and from the various consequences of my own actions that have hurt myself and others. Since I have fallen in love with and married my wife I have noticed that she often has to deal with pain and hurt in my heart that she did not create. And vice versa - some of the issues haunting her stem from her past, yet I have to endure them. We love each other to the moon and back, but we are two hurt people that sometimes hurt each other.
     But is that all? Hurt people also help people. They care for and nurture people. They heal people. Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. What's the most common way to understand another person's feelings? Experience the same thing, or at least a similar level of pain during a similar circumstance. My mother died when I was eight years old and I bet that if your mother died when you were young you can empathize with the part of my heart that remains scarred from that loss and the subsequent relational void in my life. When we share a similar experience, we have a bond. We have an understanding of each others hurts along with the fears and insecurities that develop because of that hurt. Many people have started charities or ministries that reach out to a specific group of people because they themselves have experienced similar circumstances. Nancy Goodman Brinker started the Susan G. Komen Foundation because her sister died from breast cancer. The Ronald McDonald House was started, in part, by Fred Hill, whose daughter had leukemia. I know several bloggers and authors who use their platform to reach out to people suffering with the very disease or condition that they have experienced. I began reaching out to others that suffer with depression because I can relate and I want to encourage them and help educate their friends and loved ones about depression.
     People who have experienced hurt can use their super power of empathy to help others. That may be occur in the form of listening without offering platitudes. You may sense when a person needs additional help before they realize it. You might be able to help someone survive when they no longer have strength left to fight. The hurt within will grant you the uncanny ability to see past scar-filled reactions and offer compassion and forgiveness. That's the one that I need most of the time. I am thankful for my wife for innumerable reasons, but one of the reasons is that she is hurt, like me, and she uses the experiences from her past to help others. She cares for and nurtures people in dire circumstances. My wife heals people. People - meaning me. What can you do with your hurt? Hurt others or help them - the choice is yours.
God bless!

The Most Beautiful People...

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Change

Comfort and Strength

Psalm 147:3 

He heals the brokenhearted
    and binds up their wounds.

This Is Your Brain on Food: The Link Between Eating Well and Mental Health

One of the things I enjoy most about the current mental health awareness movement is the all-around (holistic) approach to health and wellness. There is a growing focus on healthy eating, exercise, emotional health and spiritual health. All of these are tied together and affect one another. An article I read yesterday discusses the link between healthy eating and mental health. Studies increasingly show the strong correlation between the two. What we eat doesn't just affect the weight on our scales, it affects the weight on our minds.
Please forward the article to anyone you know that would be encouraged today!
God bless!
http://www.takepart.com/article/2014/04/03/powerful-connection-between-food-and-brain?cmpid=tp-ptnr-upworthy

Time to Turn North

How long have you been dealing with depression? Have you reached a point in your life where you are tired of struggling and ready to do what it takes to get better? Maybe that is reaching out for help or accepting the help that is available to you. Maybe that is making the necessary changes in your life that only you can make. I don't know what that looks like for you, but God does. I have struggled for years, always accepting the "fact" that I would always be depressed and there was nothing I could do about it. Finally, I reached a point in my life where I was tired of circling that mountain. There are still battles to fight, but the fight is well worth it. Is God saying this to you? Is He saying you have circled that mountain long enough? If so, it's time to turn north.

You are the Apple of God's Eye

Your Weakness = God's Strength

What are you giving today?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

Does Exercise Help Depression?

“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.” ― Ellen DeGeneres

When people say you need to start walking to lessen your depression, I'm pretty sure they don't mean for you to pull a Forest Gump and never stop! According to research cited in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, the advantages of walking and other forms of moderate physical activity are astonishing for helping curb depression. It decreases depression as effectively as Prozac or behavioral therapy. One 12 week study showed a 50% decrease in symptoms for participants that walked on a treadmill or rode a stationary bike following public health recommendations for physical activity 3-5 days a week. A 30-minute walk or 20-minute bike ride would fit that bill. There are plenty of other activities that can help raise your spirits, but walking consistently is one of the best goals to set and maintain in order to help regulate your mood.
Not only is walking great for your physical and emotional health, I have found it to be a wonderfully uplifting spiritual experience too. There are so many times that I needed to spend time alone with God and couldn't because of normal, everyday distractions (not that they were bad things, just busy things). Going for a walk or run gives me the opportunity to enjoy some one-on-one time with the Lord and talk to Him, praise Him or even pour out painful emotions to Him. Regular exercise benefits mind, body and spirit. 
But, you may say, when depressed, you really don't feel like doing anything like that. Yes, depression sucks the life out of you. It's hard. The best thing is to make exercise a habit. Start a walking plan today. Put it on your calendar, to-do list or whatever you need to in order to make it consistent. You can't wait until you feel like it - trust me, I know!
Friends & family - don't just tell your loved one with depression to get moving, go with them. Just like any other disorder, they may need help getting started or overcoming the effects of depression on their body and motivation. Ask to go with them or do something to help free up 30 minutes so they can go walking. An added bonus to walking together is the social aspect of building your relationship. And whether they say it or not, it really means a lot that you would care enough to spend time with them.

God bless!

http://mobikefed.org/2013/03/walking-revolution-exercise-medicine-13-ways-get-people-moving-2013 

http://www.ajpmonline.org/article/S0749-3797%2804%2900241-7/fulltext

You are loved!

Created with a Purpose

God created you with a purpose. If you haven't already, begin asking him what it is.

Unwanted Journey

Do you ever feel like you are on an unwanted journey? Does suffering from depression make life seem that way at times? Maybe there is a bigger picture that your life, depression and all, fits into in order to bring God glory. Your depression is not the end of your story. Check out this excerpt from Adam Hamilton's book The Journey:

"Life will have its moments of disappointment, its times of overwhelming sorrow and intense pain. But the good news of Scripture is that God not only walks with us on these journeys; God redeems them and brings good from them. The Bible is filed with such stories.
Jacob's son Joseph was sold as a slave by his brothers, then wound up in Egypt, falsely accused and thrown into prison. But that was not the end of Joseph's story.
David fled into the wilderness when King Saul tried to kill him. He stayed among the Philistines for a couple of years, writing psalms that asked God, "Why do you allow my enemies to prosper? When are you going to save me?" He did not want to take this journey. But that was not the end of David's story.
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were told to bow down and worship the Babylonian king's image; if they refused they would be thrown into the fiery furnace. Surely they did not wish to take this journey to the fiery furnace. But that was not the end of their story.
The people of Judah were taken captive and marched to Babylon, where they would live in exile for fifty years. But that was not the end of their story.
And the child who would be born in a stable in Bethlehem would walk to Calvary. But that would not be the end of his story.
All of us take unwanted journeys, but God always walks with us on these journeys. God works through them and redeems them, and these difficult journeys will never be the end of our story!"

Hamilton, Adam. "Pg. 100-101." The Journey: Walking the Road to Bethlehem. Nashville: Abingdon, 2011. N. pag. Print.

Understanding Suicide: Myth vs. Fact

Check out this fantastic reference article from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention dated 9/6/13. This is an essential topic to understand if you have a loved one with clinical depression. Please take these items to heart and discuss with them.

Suicide is a serious public health problem that takes an enormous toll on families, friends, classmates, co-workers and communities, as well as on our military personnel and veterans. 

To understand why people die by suicide, and why so many others attempt to take their own lives, it is important to know the facts. Please read the facts about suicide below and share them with others.

Myth: Suicide can’t be prevented. If someone is set on taking their own life, there is nothing that can be done to stop them.
Fact: Suicide is preventable. The vast majority of people contemplating suicide don’t really want to die. They are seeking an end to intense mental and/or physical pain. Most have a mental illness. Interventions can save lives.

Myth: People who take their own life are selfish, cowards, weak or are just looking for “attention.”
Fact: More than 90% of people who take their own life have at least one and often more than one treatable mental illness such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and/or alcohol and substance abuse. With better recognition and treatment many suicides can be prevented.

Myth: Asking someone if they are thinking about suicide will put the idea in their head and cause them to act on it.
Fact: When you fear someone you know is in crisis or depressed, asking them if they are thinking about suicide can actually help. By giving a person an opportunity to open up and share their troubles you can help alleviate their pain and find solutions.

Myth: Teenagers and college students are the most at risk for suicide.
Fact: The suicide rate for this age group is below the national average. Suicide risk increases with age. Currently, the age group with the highest suicide rate in the U.S. is middle-aged men and women between the ages of 45 and 64. The suicide rate is still highest among white men over the age of 65.

Myth: Barriers on bridges, safe firearm storage and other actions to reduce access to lethal methods of suicide don’t work. People will just find another way.
Fact: Limiting access to lethal methods of suicide is one of the best strategies for suicide prevention. Many suicides can be impulsive and triggered by an immediate crisis. Separating someone in crisis from a lethal method (e.g., a firearm) can give them something they desperately need: time. Time to change their mind, time to resolve the crisis, time for someone to intervene.

Myth: Someone making suicidal threats won’t really do it, they are just looking for attention.
Fact: Those who talk about suicide or express thoughts about wanting to die, are at risk for suicide and need your attention. Most people who die by suicide give some indication or warning. Take all threats of suicide seriously. Even if you think they are just “crying for help”—a cry for help, is a cry for help—so help.

Myth: Talk therapy and/or medications don’t work.
Fact: Treatment can work. One of the best ways to prevent suicide is by getting treatment for mental illnesses such as depression, bipolar illness and/or substance abuse and learning ways to solve problems. Finding the best treatment can take some time, and the right treatment can greatly reduce risk of suicide. In fact, it can bring you back your life.

Source: http://www.afsp.org/news-events/in-the-news/understanding-suicide-myth-vs.-fact